With kaleidoscope eyes



Yesterday The other day, I did my name in watercolor Kanji.

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My sister plays the piano for a Lutheran church with a German pastor and an Indian congregation. The other day she told me, in the way that older sisters sometimes have of telling, that I had to pinch-hit for her because she had to go to Westchester today. The last time I did that was a complete disaster. The church members were quite shocked when, instead of playing "Amen, amen" (for the benediction), I played the Gloria Patri, which really isn't supposed to come at the end of the service. Everybody knows that. Except me, obviously.

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So today yesterday, I dragged my sleepy self off my bed and set off to once again make a total fool of myself. And I did, thank you very much. I haven't touched a piano for months. Come to think of it, I haven't been to church for months either. I used to go every Sunday. Heck, I sang in the choir. And then, one day, I just stopped going. I still believe in God, or at the very least, the existence of a Supreme Being. I feel like telling him, "It's not you, it's me."

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I miss playing the piano. I miss running my fingers over the keys and making music. I've always found it to be quite therapeutic, sitting on a piano bench and letting my mind wander while my fingers run the course of a piece. Sometimes I wouldn't let my mind wander; I would listen to every note and try to do justice to a dead guy who probably spent countless hours fine-tuning the notes to make it sound just so. Sometimes, I would run a difficult passage over and over again and get frustrated. But always, I felt a certain kind of peace after I've sat on the bench. The piano is my punching bag, my canvas, my pen.



Well, now, I don't have regular access to one, which really sucks.

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After brunner (breakfast, lunch, dinner) at a charming cafe, we marched over to the friendly neighborhood video store and rented Zoolander, Ocean's Eleven, and Vanilla Sky DVDs. Zoolander was hilarious. Some stupid movies pretend to be smart. This one doesn't; flaunts it, in fact. Ocean's Eleven was okay (a lot of people probably said that about it). Vanilla Sky was... long. Very long.

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Hey, I just realized I use the word "suck" quite often. I'm sure there's a web site somewhere out there devoted to things that suck but here's my own list, anyway:



Things That Suck

1. cracks on the Sidewalk

2. the Sound of a fork being Scratched across a blackboard

3. passing through a turnstile after Swiping your Metrocard five hundred times and just missing the train by a millisecond

4. Spiders

5. the Sickly Sweet Smell of garbage

6. really large Shopping bags

7. Soggy Sandwiches

8. the Snooze button



Hey! They all have S's! Let me capitalize all the S's to emphasize my point. Yes, that would be a good idea. Hmm, so now it's a list of Things That Suck That Start With The Letter S Have The Letter S Somewhere.



Okay, okay. I have got to get some sleep, I mean, Sleep.



And, in keeping with the theme,

"It's oh so quiet... Shhh....Shhhh...It's oh so still... Shhh...Shhh....You're all alone...And so peaceful until...." - It's Oh So Quiet by Bjork