Life outside my apartment



Last night, Kuya Joel drove us back from White Plains. He had an awful cold but we talked non-stop all the way from Queens to Brooklyn. We talked about getting a drivers license, getting your first car, getting your first house, mortgages, real estate, God, faith, fasting. I love talking to older people, especially people who have a lot to say about things that they've been through that I haven't. Sometimes I feel so clueless about a lot of things. I'm a really good listener, though. These past months, I've met so many people who have done extra-ordinary things with their ordinary lives. I'm surrounded by people who have done amazing things. One of my friends decided to apply for culinary school and she's one of only two scholars in her school. Another got a Fulbright scholarship. How amazing is that. One of the girls I was talking to last night didn't have a job for a couple of months. She and her husband still managed to pay their rent and put food on their table. Inspite of my struggle with my faith, it's being made clear to me that no matter what happens, God will always provide. All my life I've never lacked for anything. I've always been comfortable. I might moan and groan about not having stuff but I've never been hungry. Going to the States after grad was a given. I found a job three weeks after I got here. Sometimes I feel like I'm being complacent about a lot of things and there's really nobody to blame but myself. I tend to be passive; to react rather than make the first move. I guess I've never really failed. But I guess I've never really done something that would have a remote chance of failure, either. I've always chosen the safest, most logical, most low-risk way. I need to go out there and just do it.

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