The earth is a conductor of acoustical resonance








I saw Jim Jarmusch's Coffee and Cigarettes last week at BAM Rose Cinemas. Coffee and Cigarettes is a collection of eleven vignettes filmed over 17 years in which famous people talk about, what else, coffee and cigarettes . There was an article about it in last month's TimeOut NY that caught my attention because the cast includes such notables as Steve Buscemi, Bill Murray, Roberto Benigni, Iggy Pop, and also Cate Blanchett, the White Stripes, the Wu-Tang Clan, etc. I had never heard of Jim Jarmusch until then. Jim Jarmusch is the eccentric Einstein-coiffeured director of Stranger than Paradise, the 1984 Camera D'Or at the Cannes Film Festival.



I was late for the movie, of course, so I missed Roberto Benigni's, which was the first one filmed in '86, and I only caught the tail end of Steve Buscemi's. Nonetheless it was interesting. I did feel like I was perennially waiting for something to happen while watching it. My favorite is the one where Cate Blanchett plays herself and her bitter, jealous cousin Shelly. In another vignette, Alfred Molina (Frida) and Steve Coogan (24 Hour Party People) play two actors dealing with the recent discovery that they are cousins. Bill Murray is a waiter serving the Wu-Tang Clan coffee. Jack White shows Meg White how his Tesla coil works but when the device breaks down Jack and the audience discover that Meg knows more about electric circuitry than the average person.



There were funny bits here and there but there were also really boring parts. I hated one vignette where two men, which I found out later to be Alex Descas and Isaach de Bankole, toss about the same two phrases for ten minutes. It was like a painful version of Godot, with no underlying philosophical significance. Horrible. Iggy Pop's vignette was incredibly boring as well; thank God he's such a character.



Interesting tidbit: There were not more than ten people in the theater including myself. There were two elderly couples probably taking advantage of their senior citizen's discount. One of them said, "Oh, it's just stories. There's no plot at all." Another actually went out for a couple of minutes and came back as the credits were rolling.



Over all, if not for an interesting cast, Coffee and Cigarettes would not be worth $11.25.

So here's the deal.



My two-week vacation starts today. I scheduled vacay way too early because I was planning to quit my job and look for another one. So, thinking ahead, I thought I could use this time for interviews and take another vacation with the new job. But it turns out I won't be quitting. Something came up and I'm going to hang on for another year and see what happens. So here I am with all this time on my hands and no plans. My high school friends want to go to Vegas but that's not until July. And as far as I know, everybody else is working. Apparently, nobody ever schedules their vacation in May. Everybody gets a WTF look on their faces when I say I'm going on vacation.



So after much head-scratching and pondering in general, I've decided I am going to be a tourist in New York for two weeks. I'm not going to wear shorts and a sun visor but I am going to go to all the places I've always wished I'd gone to but never had the time, with a digicam slung around my neck. (Darn it, right now would be the perfect time to be Japanese.)



Today is Domestic Chores and Errands Day I. I called the gym to find out when my membership is expiring (05/28/04 according to the irritatingly perky attendant). Of course, being naturally suspicious of strangers on the phone and consumer rights-driven, I pulled out my receipt from my bedside drawer (which is a minor miracle as it's crammed full of two years' worth of receipts) and now I have written proof that my membership expires in August, and NOT in two days. So it's off to the gym tomorrow. I also scheduled my first medical check-up in three years for Friday. I did my laundry, put away most of my winter clothes, went to the supermarket and made Filipino-style spaghetti for dinner. For the uninformed, all the google searches will tell you that the secret ingredient in Filipino-style spaghetti sauce is hotdogs. In place of hotdogs I found some kosher beef franks and instead of plain ketchup, Heinz has a hot and spicy variant. Plus the Ragu I used was green-pepper-happy. So my spaghetti turned out to be a Jewish-Filipino-Mexican hybrid.



On the way to the supermarket, I dropped by the bank and found out that I have half as much money as I thought I had. So now I am a tourist on a budget. I'm thinking movies and museums. I'm thinking BAM, MOMA QNS (one whole day), Met and the museum row, Angelika, Central Park, AMMI, etc.

Brilliant



Something is wrong with me, definitely. Last week, after watching The Office Series 2, I bawled for, like, two hours.

Goodbyes suck



Today I had to say goodbye to some people at work who are moving to another location - people who I've seen every weekday for eight hours or more for two and a half years. We all swore we'd visit each other. One girl and I promised to do lunch some time but I know we probably never will. I'll miss them so much. Although we just exchange casual office banter most of the time, it'll feel really weird without them. I had to pack up my desk too, because we're moving to another floor. It's funny how when I first started working there I refused to put personal stuff in my desk. I always told myself it would be temporary. While packing my desk today, I found a sewing kit, toothpaste, about ten dollars worth of quarters and pennies and more stuff I've amassed over the years. I've settled in. On the train I read the part about Alex's dream about playing an instrument made of skin protruding from his belly about fifty times. I felt so bad that I went straight to the deli as soon as I got off. And now I'm eating Guacamole Doritos and a pint of Ben & Jerry's (none of that non-fat crap) and blogging. Best therapy there is.

Spinning your new 45's



It's time for my annual Hedwig obsession. I'm sort of in love with John Cameron Mitchell, a little bit. He does have some lovable qualities, only one of which is the fact that he directed an entire movie in three-inch heels. If you haven't seen the DVD yet, it's a must. Also, Wig in a Box The Songs from Hedwig and the Angry Inch was released last year. The Bens (Kweller, Lee and Folds) do Wicked Little Town and Cyndi Lauper does Midnight Radio plus many more (The Polyphonic Spree, The Breeders, Yoko Ono, Yo La Tengo, Sleater Kinney)!







In other news, HTML help needed. I can't get the damned scroll bar colors to change in frames. Help. Please.

Sounding it off in threes



1. Sunday night was fireworks night at Pleasantville. The fireworks show, the first in three years, was held in an enormous field right in front of a friend's house. Some people brought blankets or chairs. We sat on the bleachers and the fireworks were lit right in front of our faces. I had a blast.



2. Sometimes I feel like I let myself be carried with the tide too much. I've never made irrational decisions. All my big decisions have been carefully thought out in a logical process. I always put practicality above other factors. I don't think I've made a bad decision yet, at least in the point of view of, say, a board of directors managing a company. But sometimes, I feel like I'm missing out on something.



3. I think I'll listen to this song for the rest of the night

Update in progress...



That explains why everything looks shitty.

May Day

Bikes and buildings on the BQE

More coming as soon as I get off my butt.

Quijano de Manila







R.I.P, Nick Joaquin: National Artist of the Philippines, author of May Day Eve, The Woman with Two Navels, and more.

We can be happy underground



Touted Best Ticket Bargain by TimeOut NY, Loews State, inside Virgin Megastore, two floors down, supposedly shows second-run movies for half price. In my state of brokenness (as in financial ruin), I decided to try it out. Besides, TimeOut said, "All that money you save on a movie can go straight to the first CD you'll pass on the way out of the store." Besides, comfy theater seats after a long walk around Times Square, AC on a hot day, entertainment after a particularly stressful lunch, etc. sounds pretty enticing.



I picked Main Hoon Na, a Bollywood movie, as I didn't feel like watching a thriller/suspense movie (Secret Window) or a lengthy movie with a lingering effect (Lord of the Rings). To my utter dismay and horror, the ticket did not cost $5.50 as I had been led to believe (damn you, TimeOut, damn you!), but $10.25, 25 cents more than regular price. I forked over the money anyway because I really needed to sit, and I've never seen a Bollywood except for that short Jaan Pehechaan Ho sequel in Ghost World. Well, I'm glad I did, because I enjoyed it thoroughly. I was entertained, at the very least.



This is a still from the movie to illustrate my point:







The lead character, who looks like Ray Romano, is a Major in the Indian army. His dad gets killed by Raghavan, a rebel who is opposed to the military's Mission Milaapa, a project to further peace between India and Pakistan. Raghavan is intent on causing havoc, so the army's main man, General Bakshi, sends Ray Romano to Darjeeling to protect his daughter. When Ray Romano's dad was dying, he revealed that Ray Romano actually had a half brother. Dad left his family to take care of his illegitimate son, Ray Romano. His dying wish was that Ray Romano and his half brother could scatter his ashes together.



Now, Ray Romano didn't want to go on a mission to protect the General's daughter, because he would have to go undercover as a college student, and he is about a decade too old. But! But! Incidentally, this daughter, Sanju, goes to school with Ray Romano's half brother Lakshmi. So off he goes to college.



College is wonderful. Everybody loves Lakshmi, who is known as Lucky, and is, like, the coolest guy in school because he has long hair, wears torn jeans and leather jackets, has failed three times, and does his song-and-dance numbers so well. Everybody breaks into song AND dance at key points in the story. Pompom girls appear out of nowhere and everyone throws confetti all the time. Lucky and Sanju don't like Ray Romano because he dresses like a thirty-year-old undercover army major pretending to be a student. But then Lucky falls off a roof and is rescued by this nerdy over-aged student and so everybody dances, and now he is well-liked.



Oh! Oh! Lucky's favorite expression is "Avoid!" His mom: "Lucky, when are you going to cut your hair?" Lucky: "Avoid, mom!" Ray Romano: "Lucky, I think you like Sanju." Lucky: "Avoid, man!" Anyways. So Ray Romano becomes friends with Lucky and he starts to live with the Laksmans as a tenant. Lucky's mom loves him because he loves her cooking and is the son she never had.



Ray Romano has the hots for the new Chemistry teacher, who was Miss Universe in 1994, when the Miss Universe pageant was held in the Philippines. Yes, Filipino readers who lived in the Philippines in 1994 who had access to any kind of media, the new Chemistry teacher is (all together now) Sushmita Sen. Every time Ray Romano bumps into Sushmita Sen, he gets an uncontrollable urge to sing (and he does), and violinists and saxophonists appear out of the blue [see picture].



Meanwhile, Raghavan's attempts at tomfoolery are foiled by Ray Romano so he decides to kidnap the Physics teacher and pose as the substitute Physics teacher. His disgrace of a disguise works because nobody knows how Raghavan looks like anyway; he always hides behind a mask. When the students find out that the Physics teacher resigned and will be replaced by a creepy-looking fellow, they all cheer because now they don't have to wear goggles to Physics class. Their old teacher had a serious spitting problem.



Notables: the Hindi teacher who screws up her English words, the absent-minded principal, the school nerd who pretends to turn down Sanju's prom invite so she can go with Lucky.



To summarize, Lucky finally realizes he likes Sanju, they go to the prom, Ray Romano and Sushmita Sen dance and fall in love, the General and his daughter are reunited, Lucky and his mom find out who Ray Romano really is, India and Pakistan exchange POWs, Raghavan kidnaps everyone in school, Ray Romano rescues them and is forgiven by Lucky and his mom.



This movie manages to incorporate all genres: comedy, drama, romance, action (obviously in the scene where Ray Romano does a Matrix to dodge the Physics teacher's spit globules). Plus, it's actually a musical AND a socio-political commentary. It is almost three hours long, yes, but if the projector guy is kind there is an interval so everyone can run to the bathroom for five minutes, and it is worth every minute.



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Speaking of Underground, did you know that Ben Folds Five released a Complete Sessions at West 54th DVD? If so, and if you have seen it, and are female (OR male, for that matter) of a certain persuasion, don't you think that Ben Folds circa 1997 is, like, the perfect guy?